3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
