That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Randomize
