Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
