My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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