your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
