I puked a lego.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
