He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
