He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
i came on her dog
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
