just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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