Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I understand Curling. That high.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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