She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
