but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
