I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Randomize
