Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize