we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
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