so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
