How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
