I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
