I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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