I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
