I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
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