is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
