It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
