Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
She has the best kind of daddy issues
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