I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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