my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Randomize
