he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
