What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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