I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
