I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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