quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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