But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
