If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
