took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I need to align my fucking chakras
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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