Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
