he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Randomize
