i wish there were pregnant emoticons
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
