Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Tornado booty call.. dedication
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
