I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
