So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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