I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I should be sponsored by Trojan
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
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