Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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