i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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