We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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