One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
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