Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
and she was petting her beer can
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
