Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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