I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Randomize
