Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
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