I'm drive I can fine osifer
I'm eating all of the evidence.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
