do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
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