It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
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