Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize
