her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
don't judge my taste in strippers
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
I'm really busy with my period
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