If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
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