PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
