I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
