around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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