Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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