so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
