JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
