my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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