That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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