Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
