yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
