the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
